Paddling 101: How to Spank with a Paddle

Before you buy a new paddle and start swinging, make sure you understand the basics.

Using a paddle for impact play isn’t that much different than any other spanking, but there are a few key differences to know. Although spanking is the gateway kink for many of us because it’s simple and free, there’s always more to learn.

Before you buy a new paddle and start swinging, make sure you understand the basics.

Choose Your Sensation: Sting or Thud

Before anyone’s bottom gets paddled, ask what kind of impact you/your partner want: Stinging pain? Thuddy pain? Both?

Any paddle (wooden or otherwise) can cause a sting. The material, density, and technique determines that. Thin toys like slapsticks create a definite bite. But for those who prefer a deep thud, look for thick, heavy paddles. Red oak paddles are thick enough for the weight alone to create a thud. Watch out for those edges, though. If your paddle lands there, you’ll definitely feel a sharp sting.

Some thick paddles can be deceiving. Our holy terror paddles should be thuddy because of their weight and thickness but the holes are why Kayla dubbed these terrors. (She isn’t a fan of stinging pain.)

Warm-Up First

Warm up before you go in hard with your paddling. Start with a hand spanking or use your paddle with light taps. This helps prep the mind and the bottom. It allows your partner to be eased into the moment. They can relax into the sensations instead of tensing in anticipation.

Some people have enjoyed impact long enough to know whether they need or want the warm-up. In those cases, feel free to skip. But when you’re new to paddlings or to your partner, go slow and ease into the intensity of your kinky fun.

Use Different Spanking Techniques

Every spankee likes and wants something different so there’s room for experimentation here. But in general, you’ll want to vary the techniques you use with your paddle.

Some ideas:

  • Alternate cheeks. Go back and forth between each side. Smack one cheek multiple times and then strike the other. Create a pattern or stay spontaneous, the choice is yours.
  • Stick with muscled areas. Even when it’s a bare-handed spanking, you need to be careful where a strike lands, but it’s especially true with a hard paddle. If you’re completely new to paddles, hit the butt and maybe the back of the thighs until you learn more about impact play safety.
  • Take breaks. This doesn’t mean stop your spanking, but lower the intensity with your paddle, switch to your hand, or pick up another weapon of ass destruction. This gives your partner’s mind and body a break.

Try Different Positions for Different Experiences

The position you use in a paddling or spanking scene depends on a variety of factors: physical ability and comfort, personal preference, and/or the mood you want to create. But if you don’t know what you like or don’t like, experiment with different spanking positions to find what works best for you and your partner.

Over-the-knee (OTK): The spanker sits with the spankee over their lap. This limits you to only using one hand and spanking or paddling at a specific angle. But it’s also a very intimate moment that lends itself to other sexy fun.

Bent over: This can be bent over a bed or another piece of furniture. This position pushes the glute muscles “forward” and can make for a more intense experience. If using a bed or furniture, the bottom can support their body. If bent over with no support, the position becomes an extra challenge during your scene.

Spanking bench: Anything can be a spanking bench if you’re creative enough, but if you haven’t bought or made one, you’ll usually find these in a BDSM dungeon. Typically the partner being spanked will be bent over or on all fours.

St. Andrew’s Cross: A great piece of kink furniture for any impact play, St. Andrew’s crosses leave your partner standing upright. This will change the angle of your strike but also gives you more access to their body for other fun, play, and sensation — with or without your paddle.

Check In as You Play

With any kink play, whether a spanking or something else, communication and consent are key. Between paddlings, position changes, and alternating your technique, check-in with your partner. You can keep it sexy, if that’s your vibe, by whispering, “Do you want some more?” Or you can simply ask, “Are you okay? Can I continue?”

I ask Kayla for a color when we play with our paddles: green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. The color tells me what I need to know to continue the scene or stop it.

If I ask a question, and Kayla can’t give me a response, all play stops immediately. Why? Because she no longer has the ability to communicate so that we can keep her safe during play. She might be in subspace or she might be in so much pain she can’t speak. Either way, she’s more vulnerable to getting hurt, so we stop.

Don’t Forget Aftercare

After an intense scene with your paddles, aftercare is important. Everyone will want something a little different. Kayla likes to wrap up in a special blanket, and she needs water and food. We sit quietly, cuddled together, and wait for her to come around. If she’s lucid, we talk a little bit.

Helping your partner into bed or back into their clothes is the least you can do. They may need water or help to the bathroom. Other people might want to be left alone, or they might need something else. Before you start your fun, talk about the end of the scene so you both know what to expect from the other.



13 Responses

  1. When i was 14 and my brother Jason was 12,we both finially made our First Holy Communions in the class with the 7 year olds.Since i was 14,i had to be dressed like the little girls in a poofy,short sleeve,knee length communion dress and veil with lace socks and white maryjane shoes and under my dress,my parents made me wear a white tee shirt and white toddler extra large size plastic pants[rubberpants] just like the little girls wore. I wasnt very happy having them on under my dress and they fit me tight!Two hours before the service,Jason was playing a video game and i wanted to join in,but he said no,as he was almost done.I got very angry and swore at him and punched him in the stomach!After he recovered,i was taken to my room,dad sat down on the edge of my bed,mom ordered me to lay over his lap and brought my communion dress all the way up.Dad started spanking me hard and with the rubberpants on,they made the pain worse!So i walked down the aisle with Jason and our classmates with a very sore ass!

    1. To Brittany M.- When i made my First Holy Communion at 15,all of us girls had to wear the poofy,short sleeve,knee length communion dress and veil with the lace socks and white maryjane shoes.Under our dresses we had to also wear rubberpants with a tee shirt as our top!My pubic hair was shaved off the saturday night before so i would be like a little girl.Sunday morning,mom babypowdered me,then put the rubberpants and tee shirt on me.It felt weird feeling the rubberpants against my skin all day long!

  2. i was spanked verry hard with a split strap laying face down on 2 chairs with pillows while jacking off, i really enjoyed it, such a great orgasm , best ever, i wanted to be punished again after squirting on the floorbut for some reason it did not happen . one of theese days i really need to be spanked again right after getting off, shooting my wad. its like i need to feel a real punishment.

    1. You should invent one, because I don’t think such a thing is out there. But what the hell, I could be wrong (not the first time…). Good luck.

  3. I often use a small paddle to spank my wife. It’s easy to use on her OTK, but long enough to cover her bottom. A warmup with a hand spanking isn’t a bad idea with the small paddle either, but I usually go straight to the paddle. It is thin enough and small enough to be lightweight and easily controlled, but still thick and heavy enough to deliver a fierce punishment. It is my go-to tool to give the harsher spankings.

  4. I was spanked hard growing up. From the time I was 11-17 years old, I typically first got 100 smacks with my hand on my bare butt, then 100-130 with the paddle. By hand was OTK, with the paddle a few hours later was OTD

  5. My young and beautiful wife and I practice spanking as foreplay at bedtime every night and are both well into it.
    I am always the top and we both enjoy it that way. In doing so I use some of the suggestions given above. I start with massaging her bottom first over panties then gently slide them down abd massage for a few more minutes before beginning with “love taps” with my hand and increase intensity only enough to create a pleasurable sting which she fully enjoys.
    I then take a break and massage some more and sweetly finger her between her legs
    Part 3 is repeating the same process only with a wooden spatula with various pauses in between series of blows. These never exceed what she can endure niether in number or intensity, nor more thsn she desires to satisfy her needs and desires.

  6. I (a guy) got spanked by my Dad w/a belt as a boy but very rarely… I had to come close to blowing up the city of Chicago for that to happen. My Dad never hit me that hard. What I hated was the humiliation. I didn’t WANT TO BE SPANKED but had no choice. Later, (age 10-12) I discovered I liked being spanked and loved spanking other guys. But it was OUR CHOICE. It was a matter of control. Made all the difference, between a humiliating experience, and a very erotic one. As for paddles, their very ritualistic. As in “thank you sir, may I have another!” No other method of spanking (IMO) is so orchestrated. Just an observation…

  7. OH MY! There certainly is “something” about “IT” when you know you are either going to be spanked on your bared bottom, or you are going to be spanking your partners bared bottom! A while back I purchased a leather paddle and when I decide that she needs a spanking, I let her know my intentions, have her strip to being naked and I then gently guide her across my lap. Our mutual agreement is that a spanking must hurt to a degree in order to obtain a degree of realism. Now, since she can also decide when I deserve or need a session across her lap, this provides us a built-in restraint so to speak. However, after either giving or receiving a “good” spanking our sex is fantastic!

  8. I enjoy spanking adult women. For a period of several years, I worked in NYC Nightclubs that catered to the BDSM crowd. During that time, I spanked, paddled, caned, restrained, and/or otherwise engaged in BDSM as a Top to thousands of women (and I do mean thousands) who wished to submit and bottom to me. Some evenings, I might have over 20 women receiving a bare bottom spanking from me in an open space where everyone in the club could see them being restrained with little or no clothing on and watch as I played with them sexually as a top which included blindfolding, altering their restraints and reddening their bottoms. Some people might think of this as being sadistic but my objective was never to hurt any of these women. Rather I gave each women extreme sexual arousal from being sensitively spanked, often resulting in their having multiple sexual orgasms and climaxing again and again while they were over my knee, until they were completely exhausted and elated from their spanking experience.

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