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The Kinkery

3 Ideas for Kinky Play This Valentine’s Day

feminine person with handcuffs resting on leg and holding heart pillow -- image overlaid with sepia tones

Valentine’s Day is considered the Hallmark-holiday of love and lust. We think it can be a kinky holiday, too. If you’re looking for a new way to celebrate Valentine’s this year while staying in a kinky headspace, try one of these ideas.

Learn a New Kink Together

Learning a new kink takes time and patience, so think of this as a long-term gift. You can start before Valentine’s Day or on the day itself, but the fun will last long past the holiday. How do you learn a new kink?

  • Figure out what you want to try. BDSM checklists are great for this.
  • Do some research on it. Read books, listen to podcasts, go to online workshops.
  • Buy the kinky gear you need. Not all kinks require toys or special tools but most do.
  • Start slowly and try it in a non-sexy, non-kinky way. Both top and bottom need to give each other feedback on what they feel, what works, and what doesn’t.
  • Try a small scene together. Don’t incorporate too many other activities. Keep the lines of communication open the entire time.
  • Talk after you’re done. You can do this during aftercare or the next day.
  • Adjust your play based on what you both liked and didn’t like.
  • Play again. This might be a small, short scene like the first time or you might get more intricate.

From there, you can try new ways to play, incorporate it into other kinks, and explore your kinky fun more fully.

Pick an Old Favorite and Play

What’s your OG of kinky fun? For us, it’s spankings — an over-the-knee, bare-handed spanking. Sometimes on Valentine’s Day (or any day), you want the comfort of an old familiar play session. Something you both love and that’s fairly easy to do. Especially if your vanilla life often overtakes your kinky life a lot, and you don’t always have time for your fuckery.

Recreate an old scene or incorporate something new, like a new toy. The point is to do something easy and fun without a lot of stress or planning. But there’s nothing wrong with keeping it fresh with new gear.

You can also make it a roleplay scene, if you want, and pretend you’re the same people you were the first time you played with this kink. But you can also just let yourself fall into the familiar comfort of something you simply love to do together.

Explore New Power Exchange Through Roleplay

Curious about a different power dynamic? Maybe you’re curious about Caregiver/little or pet play but you don’t want to fundamentally change your D/s relationship yet. Or maybe you don’t really know how you feel about it because you’ve never experienced it.

Do a bit of research to get multiple perspectives on how that power dynamic or kink is experienced by other people. Pick out the things that intrigue you the most. Now, play with that dynamic in a temporary way through roleplay.

You might try new gear, or you might try on new titles (for the scene), or not. But this is a chance to play with something different without committing to it as a major change in your relationship. You both know it’s a roleplay scene, so there may be less pressure to get it “right.” But you still get the excitement of trying something new. Consider it a dress rehearsal to see if this is what you really want do together more often.

If buying a card, chocolates, and a heart-covered gift works for you on Valentine’s Day, cool. But if you’d rather get your kink on in a way that’s much more satisfying, then enjoy a kinky Valentine’s Day instead. Use one of our ideas or try your own!

How do you plan to spend Valentine’s Day this year? Will it be kinky? Share with us in the comments below!

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