New to the idea of a butt plug in general, let alone a wooden butt plug? Here are a few things you need to know before you bend over and stick it in. The deeper you go (pardon the pun) into anal play, the more you’ll learn, but these basics will help you have a safer, healthier, and happier experience as a newbie.
Lube is Not Optional
Lube, with any form of anal play, is an absolute requirement. Your butt doesn’t create natural lubrication, and going in dry is an easy way to injure yourself and decide you hate butt stuff. Lube it up until you’re so slippery you worry you might slide off the bed. You do not want the friction of an unlubed anal experience, unless you’re an extreme masochist.
When you use your fingers, choose a thick lube that won’t dry up or wash away (if you’re playing in the shower) easily. We like The Butters lube for any form of play, but the thickness makes it a great anal lube if no toys are involved.
Once you use a toy, like a butt plug, the material determines the type of lube you should use. Most anal plugs, especially the wooden variety, do best with a water-based lube. Because it’s made of water, it will dry up over time, so have enough and add more. Again, you should be slippery AF with your lube application.
Plugs made of glass and metal can handle an oil or silicone-based lube very well. These lubes are thicker (like the Butters) and will last longer. You may still need to reapply but not as often. Butt plugs made of silicone usually need water-based lube but read the instructions. If the manufacturer says it’s safe with silicone lube, use that instead.
Our wooden butt plugs are finished to be silky smooth. You still can’t skip lube. We recommend water-based lubricant simply because we don’t know if silicone or oil-based lube will affect the finish over time. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Take Your Time and Start Small
As a butt plug newbie, this is not a time to be impatient. Pain during anal might be common but it doesn’t have to be. Most people go too fast with too big of a plug or toy. And they don’t use enough lube. All of that combines makes anal extremely painful.
You can avoid all of that with enough time, the right size, and plenty of patience.
- Start with your smallest finger. You might only get the tip in at first and that’s okay.
- Take deep breaths during penetration and allow your body to relax. Using other stimulation, like masturbation with or without sex toys, is a great way to relax and let your butt open up a bit.
- Start and stop. Push in a little bit, then stop and breathe. Wait until that feels comfortable then push in a little more. The moment you feel discomfort, stop and wait.
- Don’t worry about achieving full penetration — with a butt plug or your finger — the first time. Try again another day and see if you can handle a little more.
Remember, butt stuff isn’t a race, and there’s no prize for “finishing” first. You have all the time in the world, and with a butt plug, you can play whenever you want.
No matter what style of butt plug you buy, wooden or otherwise, start with the smallest available one. If you look at it and think, “I can handle it” but you’ve never had anything up your butt, you’re about to get a shock. Even the smallest, thinnest plugs can feel like you’ve been stretched wide.
To Clean or Not to Clean: Your Butt
A lot of anal newbies worry about how clean their butt is (or isn’t) before they stick anything up it. This is especially true with toys like butt plugs. How thoroughly you clean your butt is up to you, but a quick wipe or external wash is appreciated when you play with a partner.
You don’t automatically need to do an enema unless it makes you feel more comfortable. When I first tried anal, I needed to be that squeaky clean in order to relax and let myself enjoy the moment. These days, my attitude is, “Poop happens” and as long as I haven’t just had a bowel movement or eaten something spicy, a quick clean of my butt is enough.
That being said, you can clean and clean and clean, and there may be a little bit of poop on the end of your butt plug. Y’all, poop happens. If it squicks you or your partner out, wear gloves next time you play or wait until a different time of day. Advice I’ve been given is to engage in anal several hours after a bowel movement. Don’t do it right before you usually go or right after.
Always Clean Your Butt Plug
All sex toys need to be cleaned when you finish playing, but especially something that’s been inside your body, and certainly your butt plug. How you clean it depends on the material it’s made of.
- All butt plugs can be cleaned with warm water and soap or an antibacterial sex toy cleaner. Yes, even wooden butt plugs.
- Metal, glass, or silicone butt plugs can be sanitized by running it through a dishwasher cycle (on the top rack) or by submerging it in boiling water. We do not recommend this for our wooden plugs because we do not recommend submerging them in water.
- Rubber, jelly, and other materials cannot be fully sanitized and if not thoroughly cleaned and dry may grow mold or bacteria. You can use a condom to help keep it clean during use, then wash with water and soap.
If your butt plug will only be used by you, soap and warm water is more than enough to keep a butt plug clean whether it’s made of glass, metal, silicone, or wood. Those rubber/jelly plugs would do best with a condom or other barrier as added protection because of how easily “stuff” grows on them.
The more experience you get with butt plugs and anal play in general, the more you’ll figure out what works for you and what doesn’t — including how you like to play, what toys you want to use, and how much lube you need.
Kayla Lords handles marketing and shipping for The Kinkery. She’s also a sex writer and podcaster who embraces her babygirl side and considers NOT getting a spanking the real punishment.